Blog Archives

5 Games That Would Make Great Shark Movie Tie-Ins

Well everyone, it’s time to talk about Syfy original movies. Love ’em or hate ’em, one thing we can all agree on is that they’re prolific as hell and we all know at least one person that likes them. If you’re reading this article, that one person is me. Yes, I admit it, I’m a big fan of Syfy’s unrelenting deluge of absurd melodrama, provided I have a friend to watch with (those movies are boring as shit when you watch them alone). I will contest to the grave that Syfy’s shark movies are the best of the worst.


An actual scene from the movie Sharknado. Just… Just look at that glorious bastard.

However, if you guys have learned anything about me by now, it’s that all roads eventually lead back to video games. As I sat in my living room this summer, watching sharks twirl through the sky and attack beach communities and bite two children in half only to leave their legs running around like beheaded chickens (yes, that happened in one of them), I couldn’t help consider how these antics would fit into some of my favorite video games. Since I apparently have way too much time on my hands, I now proudly present to you five game-movie alliances that are at least absurd as the movies themselves.

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Leedzie’s Loopholes: ACNL Groundhog’s Day Trick

Hey guys, welcome to my new semi-regular segment on this blog! Leedzie’s Loopholes is a category of posts in which I explain how to break a game in some way or another without the use of cheat devices. This has come about because I have a long history of doing exactly that, and, er, I just did it again the other day.


For this first entry, we’re going to examine a game that’s been devouring my life for the last couple of months, Animal Crossing: New Leaf, and how the Bug Off contest drove me to the brink of my sanity.

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Animal Crossing: The Daily Grind

So I’ve been playing Animal Crossing lately. Again.

I really, truly thought I was done with this game series. I didn’t buy AC: City Folk for the Wii, so when I heard that AC: New Leaf would be coming out this summer, I didn’t think I’d be jumping into that, either. I didn’t even have a 3DS, and with New Leaf being a 3DS exclusive, it hardly seemed worth even a fraction of my attention. My friends all gobbled up the game when it released last month, and I was treated to numerous screenshots and fanart on my Tumblr dashboard. It all seemed very par for the course, and I was prepared to go about my jolly business as though the game didn’t exist, but then I learned about one thing that apparently changed everything for me: Bridges.

I could build BRIDGES.


The pinnacle of modern gaming: Public Works Projects

For some reason, I needed this in my life, and I began looking up 3DS prices. As of this writing, Animal Crossing: New Leaf is still the only game I own for my new 3DS, and I’ve been playing it every single day. I’ve even constructed two glorious bridges already. Yes, I paid $250 so I could build virtual bridges. DON’T JUDGE ME.

Now, as anyone that’s ever played Animal Crossing knows, it works the same way real life does: You can’t get anything if you don’t have the money for it. How do you get money in Animal Crossing? By grinding! Like many games, this life sim requires grinding before you can do absolutely anything else. This is not an option; if you want anything in these games, you have to grind for them. And even if you don’t want anything, guess what’s the only other thing left to do? GRINDING~

As I was sitting in my living room the other day, idly grinding my ass off while intermittently watching an episode of Master Chef with my mother, I began to reflect on what, exactly, I was doing. I was grinding while watching a TV show. When I’d go to my room, I’d turn on Animal Crossing and grind when I needed a break from my work. At the end of the day, I’d take my 3DS to bed with me and grind until I got tired enough to go to sleep. It suddenly hit me that I was not only grinding away at this game at all hours of the day, but I was genuinely enjoying doing so. Why the hell was I ENJOYING grinding??

And that was when I realized that Nintendo is entirely run by witches.


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Get Fit, Talk Shit

So yesterday Nintendo made a lot of announcements about the new Smash Bros. We’re all happy to see the familiar faces coming back, and Mega Man has been turned loose to join the absurdity at last. However, the interwebs are also buzzing about two other additions joining the SSB family.

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The first new fighter on the roster was the male villager from Animal Crossing. I must admit that when he was first presented, I was a little disappointed; not only had I been hoping for Tom Nook (just imagine him beating people down with money bags), but also because the villager they had defaulted to was the male one. It was an uncomfortable feeling because the villager, by his very nature, is intended to be non-descript; Animal Crossing villagers are simply vessels into which the player may insert themself. This is why there are both male and female villagers. Video games often have a problem with assuming that male is the default, with female coming as an afterthought.

However, the news got better later in the day, as the female Wii Fit trainer was also revealed for Smash Bros. Upon hearing that, all of my previous reservations lifted, because she was equal but opposite of the villager. She, too, was a non-descript entity, and the player could choose between male and female. I think it was a wise move on Nintendo’s part all around. Both of these characters were neutral, normal people that any player could relate themselves to, and they selected one of each gender to add to the game. They compliment one another, and on a more intellectual level, they bring along a subtext of equality.

And then the fan feedback started.

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