Light Temple Fanmail Follow-Up

It was only a couple of days ago when I posted my long-running preoccupation with the obscure details of Ocarina of Time, and even in that short time I’ve gotten some really interesting messages. Most people wrote to me to say they liked my ideas or just really enjoyed the deep dive into Legend of Zelda nerdery, but two replies in particular really caught my attention. They’re great messages in and of themselves, but furthermore they open the door to more thoughts of mine on this subject, which I never found a place for in the original article. Today we’ll be looking at those messages and discussing the topics they address.

A look back at my convoluted relationship with The Legend of Zelda

Welp, I don’t know about you guys, but I’ve just passed my second month in self-isolation. Like many gamers on lockdown, I’ve got a ton of time on my hands and an entire library of video games just begging to fill the empty void of my existence. A lot of these games have never even been played, and since I have a perfect opportunity to dive into these untouched treasures, I’ve naturally decided to completely ignore them and replay an old favorite from the beginning.

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess is not only one of my favorite LoZ games, but I also consider it one of the definitive games in the series – which is why I was shocked to find I haven’t touched it in over 12 years. This discovery also led to the revelation that I have completely failed to play either of the series’ mainline successors, Skyward Sword or Breath of the Wild, even though I own both of them. I just couldn’t believe it; how could I have spent THIS much time away from a franchise I love, let alone a game I consider one of the greatest of all time??

I’ve puzzled over this conundrum for days, and I think I finally have the answer. This is going to be a VERY long story, so get a drink and strap in.

5 Details That Would Take the Sonic Movie from Great to Perfect (contains spoilers)

The Sonic the Hedgehog movie has made its public debut, which means I can FINALLY discuss it in more detail!! The last week has been a real test of my self-control, because this movie is pretty much the only thing I’ve wanted to talk about. In many situations the only way I could sufficiently restrain myself was simply to abstain from the conversation entirely!

As I mentioned following my early viewing, I’m extremely satisfied with this movie. I fully expected it to be fun, but I never even expected it to be good, let alone great. There’s so much that the movie got right that, quite frankly, I’m stunned. I’ve been a Sonic fan for so long that I’ve become accustomed to disappointment (which was my reaction to the original gremlin design). To have an entry in this franchise actually do this well after all this time gives me the most unbelievable feeling. It stirs up nostalgia, but not in the sense that this film is reminiscent of the original games or cartoons; rather, I don’t have to defend myself for being a fan. I can say that I liked this movie and the response is typically, “Yeah, me too!”

That said, the movie isn’t perfect. I’m sure there are a few nitpicks one could make from a film critiquing perspective, but you’re not following this blog to hear from a professional movie reviewer, you’re here to listen to an awkward trash nerd babble about fandom junk! And in my opinion, there are five things in particular that would’ve taken the geekery of this movie from “old nerds shaping the next nerd generation” to “gaming convention collectively weeps as their nostalgia is validated.”

The Sonic Movie: Leedzie’s Sneak Peek

As part of the final round of promotions prior to the Sonic the Hedgehog movie’s release, the official Sonic movie mascot is touring the country for photo shoots. Coincidentally, one of these shoots was literally right across the street from my day job! A landmark in this area, known as “The Halo,” is essentially an enormous golden ring – the perfect place for the mascot to produce some movie hype! (Or at least it would’ve been, if it wasn’t February in Michigan and the ring wasn’t half-covered in snow.) I had every intention of turning up to observe the event and witness a little piece of Sonic history for myself, but naturally I had to work on the morning in question. Knowing that this shoot was going on RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET and not being able to watch was killing me, a fact about which my co-workers soon learned more than they ever cared to know.

Luckily, not all hope was lost: There would be more mascots stops this weekend, all of which were open to the public! One such appearance was at a theater in our area, so I decided to stop by and see if I could get a photo of my own. I happened to be off work that day, and a hug from Sonic is something I’ve wanted since I was a wee tiny Leedzie!

Little did I realize I was about to get MUCH more than I bargained for – including an advanced viewing!

Movie Sonic’s model will be redesigned following two days of intense backlash

As a long-time, incredibly jaded fan of Sonic the Hedgehog, I really wasn’t surprised when the first official movie trailer dropped a few days ago and plunged us all head-first into the uncanny valley. I had no confidence that it would be anything less ever since the initial teaser, which was more than enough to set off fan anxiety in and of itself.

This is as far as I go with posting this design, because I’m not adding nightmare fuel to my own blog.

Even as a silhouette, it’s obvious the design is a total miss. The situation got only got worse when it was revealed that Sega themselves weren’t happy with what the movie had done to Sonic’s eyes. Nevermind the fact that Sonic’s eyes are unique and easy to mess up; the eyes of a character – any character – are perhaps the single most important physical feature. They’re how we connect and part of what helps us determine whether or not a person is trustworthy. If some of the earliest information coming out about this movie is that the pivotal facial feature is borked, then yeah, I really wasn’t expecting much from that point forward (although admittedly, nothing could’ve prepared me for those fucking teeth).

Unlike me, however, other fans have been much more vocal about their dissatisfaction with this design, going so far as to dub it “the gremlin.” We knew it would be bad, but we could never predict it would be this bad, and an enormous backlash has flooded the internet in the wake of Tuesday’s reveal. The feedback has been so incredibly bad, in fact, that Sonic is actually getting a redesign. It sounds way too good to be true, but apparently this is legit. Director Jeff Fowler personally confirmed it today on Twitter.

Look, I’ve been a Sonic fan for so long that I’m more or less resigned to never truly getting what I want anymore. Even when Sonic media comes really REALLY close to greatness, there’s still just enough wrong with it to stop me from completely enjoying it. I’m used to it, and I expected nothing less from this movie. The horrifying goblin design isn’t what shocks me, this is. Who knows how much this is going to cost Paramount, and who knows if they’ll even still hit their November release date anymore. That alone seems like reason enough for the studio to just ignore the backlash and shove the movie into theaters anyway, but they’re actually putting in the work to ensure that what they release is good and do right by their audience. Maybe there really is some humanity left in this world.

 

Obligatory Legal Crap

I am not affiliated with Sega, Paramount, or the Sonic the Hedgehog movie in any capacity. I may be a lifelong Sonic fan, but there’s not enough money in the world to have convinced me that spending all day every day with that fucking gremlin would’ve been worth it. I’m going to have horrible teeth dreams as it is just from watching that trailer.

I don’t mean to brag, but…

NAILED IT.

Happy April Fool’s Day!

 

Obligatory Legal Crap

I’d like to assume I don’t need to do this for a joke post, but for the record, I’m not affiliated with Nintendo. Nor am I a ballerina, a lemur, or a quasar in deep space if we’re going to point out everything I’m not.

…That’d be cool if I was, though.

Obscure Observations: Catch of the Day

Well, it’s certainly been a while, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss this place. Between a much-needed foray back into creative writing and concerns over that-which-shall-not-be-named, the Nerdy Activities this site promises have been a bit quiet. Luckily, it’s not been for a lack of inspiration, and I have all sorts of stories and ideas I’m looking forward to sharing with you guys, starting with a tidbit I tripped over in an unlikely place.

Among the various gifts I received over the holidays, one category that saw a noteworthy influx was plushies — 9 new dolls in total, in fact (due largely to one friend getting me an entire collection of Pikmin). In lieu of simply jamming them into my existing nets and calling it a day, I figured it’d be wiser to start a new one. TO GOOGLE!

Honestly, there’s not a lot to say about searching for a toy hammock; they’re essentially all the same item and sometimes even share stock photos of gently cradling a dozen or so generic stuffed animals that nobody wants or has ever heard of. Perhaps it was due to this slack-jawed parade of blandness that something unusual managed to stand out when I checked out Target‘s online selection.

Upon closer inspection of the center of the net…

Yyyyyep, that’s a Banjo-Kazooie plushie.

Considering that all I was interested in were prices, I’m still not sure how I even noticed this. It was an fascinating enough surprise, but even more astonishing was what the minimal amount of research I happened to put into the discovery uncovered. According to Video Game Memorabilia Museum, this particular doll was released back in 1998 to promote the original Banjo-Kazooie for the Nintendo 64. The entry lists this particular doll as “scarce,” and upon a quick search to verify this, I found a single doll on Amazon for $100 and one auction on eBay whose bids have already pushed it over $30.

The obvious question then becomes, how the hell did a 15+ year old super-rare doll end up in a generic toy hammock photo shoot? Obviously the plushies have to be supplied from somewhere, but where IS that? Did they just grab a bunch of dolls from a thrift store and didn’t realize what they had? Did someone bring in a bunch of old plushies from their kid’s toy box? Was someone on-staff a fellow gaming collector and sneaked in a gem from their private collection just for the laugh of an Easter egg?

Out of morbid curiosity, I decided to check the product reviews to see if any shenanigans had gone down; after all, not all companies go out of their way to state that the supplementary items shown with their product are not included with said product, and I could easily see some smartass complaining that their net didn’t come with a vintage Banjo-Kazooie plush. Unfortunately, it seems that the two people who’ve actually bothered to leave reviews either didn’t see it, didn’t know what it was, or don’t have anywhere near as lame of a sense of humor as I do.

However the doll got there, I suppose we’ll never know if it was put there on purpose. I’m still not sure if it’s funnier if they knew or didn’t know, so I’ll leave that for you guys to decide.

 

Obligatory Legal Crap

I do not own or have any affiliation with Banjo-Kazooie, Target, eBay, or Amazon. I don’t even own the net this article is focused on, let alone the dolls inside of it.

I do, however, own Pikmin. In the plushie sense, that is, not the licensing way.

Halloween Special: Playing with Dolls

Today is Halloween! Those of you that were here last year might recall that I celebrated by discussing a spoopy spooky head canon concerning the game Sonic & Knuckles. Since this series has been a hobby of mine for well over three quarters of my life now, I have no shortage of head canons to talk about, and today we’re going to explore the one you’ve all been waiting for. The one that every Sonic fan mentions at least once every October.

Oh yes, my friends. Today, we’re going to discuss the infamous Tails doll, and what exactly makes it tick.

Treat it like a weeping angel: Don’t blink.

Father’s Day: Blood vs. Programming

Father’s Day is often characterized by imagery of backyard barbecues, early morning fishing, and two little kids hugging their daddy from either side. Candies, golfing equipment, barcaloungers, and ties that will never, ever be worn to work make for popular gifts. Department stores slap the phrase “#1 Dad” on just about anything that can be imagined, guaranteeing that you can remind your father of his status no matter what his interests are.

I, however, did not engage in any of those things Sunday. I bought my father a card, as I do every year, but that was the extent of our activities for the day. My relationship with my father has always been very… iffy. Between his intimidating, military presence and my meek and people-pleasing childhood outlook, we never really had a strong foundation to start out on. He came off as cold, judgemental, and clearly favoring my brother. I couldn’t make him laugh when I tried to entertain him, but boy did he laugh anytime I was embarrassed. Rather than telling me he loved me, the phrase I heard at the end of every conversation was, “Keep your grades up.” As for video games, I never felt so much disapproval as when I dared to bring games to his house, and he and his wife called my decision to study game design “stupid” two days before my first class. As of an argument over a series of lies he’s been telling for the last four years, my father and I rarely speak anymore.

Which is why I chose to spend the holiday with this guy — and learned a few things about myself.

(Warning: Major spoilers ahead.)

The Secret Legend of Princess Zelda

Well, I’m sure I don’t have to tell you by now that the interwebs are buzzing like a hive of fangasming hornets about the plethora of reveals made at E3 so far. Gamers around the globe have been inundated with so much new information that many folks can’t even pick a topic to squeal about, which I quickly noticed when a friend of mine IMed me as soon as I got online and covered three different topics in a single sentence.

Among the many reveals Tuesday was Nintendo’s announcement of a new collaborative spin-off for the Legend of Zelda series. Partnering with Tecmo Koei, Hyrule Warriors offers a departure from the typical LoZ dungeon crawl and keeps a much tighter focus on the combat. Between the Dynasty Warriors-esque gameplay style, the abundance of playable female characters, and Link’s decision to partake in the trend of protagonists sporting rad new scarves, there’s been a lot of chatter in the last 48 hours.

Leaving that much vital chest area exposed doesn’t seem very wise for the person the holding the Triforce of Wisdom.

Zelda in particular has been getting a lot of the attention. While this isn’t the first time she’s been playable, one would think that the series’ title character would’ve had a lot more active roles by now as opposed to spending the bulk of the last 25 years as the proverbial carrot on a stick. Furthermore, the only two games in which Zelda is actually the protagonist are sorta… well… they’re not quite… they… okay they suck. For this reason, many a fan is celebrating the news that we’ll all be able to assume the role of the iconic princess without having to bother with possessing phantoms, entering a fighting tournament, or obtaining outrageously rare hardware and software that isn’t even fun to play.

But perhaps the bigger news is the fact that we’ve all played as Zelda plenty of times before without even realizing it.