Light Temple Fanmail Follow-Up

It was only a couple of days ago when I posted my long-running preoccupation with the obscure details of Ocarina of Time, and even in that short time I’ve gotten some really interesting messages. Most people wrote to me to say they liked my ideas or just really enjoyed the deep dive into Legend of Zelda nerdery, but two replies in particular really caught my attention. They’re great messages in and of themselves, but furthermore they open the door to more thoughts of mine on this subject, which I never found a place for in the original article. Today we’ll be looking at those messages and discussing the topics they address.

A look back at my convoluted relationship with The Legend of Zelda

Welp, I don’t know about you guys, but I’ve just passed my second month in self-isolation. Like many gamers on lockdown, I’ve got a ton of time on my hands and an entire library of video games just begging to fill the empty void of my existence. A lot of these games have never even been played, and since I have a perfect opportunity to dive into these untouched treasures, I’ve naturally decided to completely ignore them and replay an old favorite from the beginning.

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess is not only one of my favorite LoZ games, but I also consider it one of the definitive games in the series – which is why I was shocked to find I haven’t touched it in over 12 years. This discovery also led to the revelation that I have completely failed to play either of the series’ mainline successors, Skyward Sword or Breath of the Wild, even though I own both of them. I just couldn’t believe it; how could I have spent THIS much time away from a franchise I love, let alone a game I consider one of the greatest of all time??

I’ve puzzled over this conundrum for days, and I think I finally have the answer. This is going to be a VERY long story, so get a drink and strap in.

The Grinch’s heart was never too small

Welp, today is Christmas Day, and like a lot of you I decided to binge on some of my favorite holiday movies. There are certain titles I just can’t resist, such as A Christmas Story, The Santa Clause, Iron Man 3… (Yeah, forget the Die Hard controversy, Iron Man 3 is my holiday action flick of choice.) And of course, we can’t forget something as classic as How the Grinch Stole Christmas — a story that’s getting yet another movie, this time in CG. I can’t exactly say I’m looking forward to that one, so I’ve personally opted to ignore its existence for the moment and binge on the animated and live-action iterations instead.

The 2000 live-action version of How the Grinch Stole Christmas tends to split audiences on whether it’s a blessing or abomination, but good or bad, it gave us several additional insights into the beloved holiday story. We learn where the Grinch came from, why he has beef with Christmas and the Whos, and even why he lives on Mt. Crumpit. In the same vein, we’re also shown additional glimpses into Who culture and how their society works. Granted, most of these tidbits specifically reflect Christmas rituals, but there are elements that one can assume are a constant in the lives of the Whos.

Among these details, the most important revelation by far is the “Dumpit to Crumpit” chute.

The Lost Son Son

Whenever the topic of parenting comes up in Dragon Ball Z, there are a few talking points that can always be counted upon to surface: Piccolo is the best father, Vegeta probably spoils Bra, it’s weird that Krillin named his daughter after a shitty ex-girlfriend, aaand most commonly of all, Goku is a horrible parent, particularly to Gohan. He regularly abandons him, puts his life in danger, assumes his willingness without asking, and never, ever considers that his methods might be harmful. Goku doesn’t hurt him intentionally, but it doesn’t change the fact that he is doing damage, and the fandom rightfully calls him out on it.

The Son family in general is a dysfunctional mess, largely thanks to Goku’s haphazard and aloof attitude toward his wife and children. Although heartwarming and tender moments do happen, they’re disappointingly scarce. Even the most diehard GoChi fans readily admit that there are some very serious and deep-seeded problems; Goku and Chi Chi never seem to be on the same page, which not only sabotages their marriage, but also results in wildly different parenting styles. This creates an inconsistent home environment, which is always rough on children. But hey, at least there was that seven year gap following the Cell Games when Goku stayed dead! That means the Son household became more stable since there was only one parenting philosophy in action, right?

Well, maybe not. While I do agree that Goku’s absence probably meant fewer problems overall, it also quietly created another huge one – and this time, Goku’s not the culprit, and Gohan’s not the victim. I’ve always been surprised (and kind of disturbed) that no one ever seems to notice that Goten probably has a paper-thin relationship with his mother.

Dragon Ball Z: ResurrectionFFFF– (contains spoilers)

Dragon Ball Z is not, shall we say, succinct in its storytelling. The “sagas,” as they’re known, can take so long to make progress that in many cases it’s prevented new viewers from ever getting into the series at all. The series so well-known for its long, sluggishly drawn-out battles that Dragon Ball Z Kai and DBZ Abridged even exist to force the series to get to the point and move forward faster.

Luckily, no one has to slog through the 291 episodes of DBZ in order to get a good story out of this fighting anime. As of this writing, the series has an impressive 15 associated movies – 20, actually, if you also count the TV specials, OAVs, and that god-awful live-action trainwreck. (And that number’s just limited to the Z series; there are even more movies for the original Dragon Ball, and another TV special for Dragon Ball GT!) For the most part these movies came out long before DBZ was popular in the United States, meaning we got them years after the fact just like the rest of the series. However, by the time Battle of Gods kicked off a new era of DBZ movies, the franchise had spread to worldwide cult status, meaning that it would see theatrical releases in more than just Japan. The same happened with the latest film, Resurrection F – and I’m pleased to say that I’m one of the lucky few that’s gotten to see it during its limited showing!

I am not, however, pleased with how it ended.

The Prince and the Pauper: Vegeta’s Secret Struggle

Something I think people often misunderstand about Vegeta is that he lives more in a state of perpetual frustration than he does anger. I would venture that no one has a work ethic like he does, and yet for all of his unwavering effort, he never seems to get rewarded – not in the way he’s looking for, anyway. He achieves things unfathomable to the average person, but he just can’t ever seem to get there first. He literally spends ALL of his free time working his body so relentlessly that he frequently injures himself, and yet he’s always, always, always a few steps behind Goku. It’s no wonder Vegeta’s rarely in a good mood; he puts in far more effort than anyone else, and yet Goku – who not only devotes less time and attention to his craft, but is also a good 5-10 years younger than him – just breezes right by like it’s no big deal. Because for Goku, it really isn’t, and no amount of Vegeta exhausting himself will ever change that.

Which necessarily begs the question, why does he keep doing it? Why does Vegeta need to be the absolute best? What makes him so willing to sink the vast majority of his life into chasing a goal he’ll seemingly never attain?

The answer may surprise you.

Wizards and Warriors: The Turmoil of Geoffrey St. John

SO, anyone out there excited about the upcoming release of Lost Hedgehog Tales? Who am I kidding, of course you are! This blog turns up in LHT search results at least once or twice a week, and I doubt it’s due to Ken Penders gnashing his teeth. At this point, I think we’re all in a tizzy over the unofficial sort-of-a-book due to another teaser tweet last month, courtesy of Archie’s lead Sonic the Hedgehog writer, Ian Flynn

Well, my friends, August is drawing to a close, which means we could see a release any day now! In light of the impending euphoria, I’ve decided to share some thoughts I’ve waxed upon with regard to a particular character. This isn’t the same as my comic page investigation; it’s merely the personal hunch I always had while reading the pre-reboot (preboot?) Sonic comics.

One character that has never failed to hold my attention under Flynn’s pen is Geoffrey St. John. After having abandoned the comics over a decade before, I got back into them purely because I was fascinated by the sudden developments surrounding this skunk and wanted to know more about where he was going. Once a particularly bland and frequently unlikable character, Geoffrey managed to gain a significant foothold in the preboot story with his unexpected alliance swap. Despite having spent the history of the comics as one of the kingdom’s highest-ranking soldiers, Geoffrey shocked everyone with the revelation that he had been training in wizardry all along — under none other than Ixis Naugus, one of the most powerful villains of the entire series.

Had Geoffrey really abandoned his former allies in their darkest hour? Was he ever really an ally to begin with? For someone that had always been mercilessly anal retentive about procedure, justice, and fulfilling his duties, how could he pull the rug out from under so many people like this? Didn’t it go against everything he’d ever stood for?

Actually, none of those are the real question. Those queries can be answered by figuring out an even bigger mystery: What really happened to Hershey St. John?

Father’s Day: Blood vs. Programming

Father’s Day is often characterized by imagery of backyard barbecues, early morning fishing, and two little kids hugging their daddy from either side. Candies, golfing equipment, barcaloungers, and ties that will never, ever be worn to work make for popular gifts. Department stores slap the phrase “#1 Dad” on just about anything that can be imagined, guaranteeing that you can remind your father of his status no matter what his interests are.

I, however, did not engage in any of those things Sunday. I bought my father a card, as I do every year, but that was the extent of our activities for the day. My relationship with my father has always been very… iffy. Between his intimidating, military presence and my meek and people-pleasing childhood outlook, we never really had a strong foundation to start out on. He came off as cold, judgemental, and clearly favoring my brother. I couldn’t make him laugh when I tried to entertain him, but boy did he laugh anytime I was embarrassed. Rather than telling me he loved me, the phrase I heard at the end of every conversation was, “Keep your grades up.” As for video games, I never felt so much disapproval as when I dared to bring games to his house, and he and his wife called my decision to study game design “stupid” two days before my first class. As of an argument over a series of lies he’s been telling for the last four years, my father and I rarely speak anymore.

Which is why I chose to spend the holiday with this guy — and learned a few things about myself.

(Warning: Major spoilers ahead.)

The Secret Legend of Princess Zelda

Well, I’m sure I don’t have to tell you by now that the interwebs are buzzing like a hive of fangasming hornets about the plethora of reveals made at E3 so far. Gamers around the globe have been inundated with so much new information that many folks can’t even pick a topic to squeal about, which I quickly noticed when a friend of mine IMed me as soon as I got online and covered three different topics in a single sentence.

Among the many reveals Tuesday was Nintendo’s announcement of a new collaborative spin-off for the Legend of Zelda series. Partnering with Tecmo Koei, Hyrule Warriors offers a departure from the typical LoZ dungeon crawl and keeps a much tighter focus on the combat. Between the Dynasty Warriors-esque gameplay style, the abundance of playable female characters, and Link’s decision to partake in the trend of protagonists sporting rad new scarves, there’s been a lot of chatter in the last 48 hours.

Leaving that much vital chest area exposed doesn’t seem very wise for the person the holding the Triforce of Wisdom.

Zelda in particular has been getting a lot of the attention. While this isn’t the first time she’s been playable, one would think that the series’ title character would’ve had a lot more active roles by now as opposed to spending the bulk of the last 25 years as the proverbial carrot on a stick. Furthermore, the only two games in which Zelda is actually the protagonist are sorta… well… they’re not quite… they… okay they suck. For this reason, many a fan is celebrating the news that we’ll all be able to assume the role of the iconic princess without having to bother with possessing phantoms, entering a fighting tournament, or obtaining outrageously rare hardware and software that isn’t even fun to play.

But perhaps the bigger news is the fact that we’ve all played as Zelda plenty of times before without even realizing it.

10 Features Missing from Animal Crossing: New Leaf

Well, it’s been a year since the release of Animal Crossing: New Leaf, the latest iteration of one of Nintendo’s many wildly popular game series. It was a breath of fresh air when the original Animal Crossing debuted back in 2001, and with each successive release, the games have integrated new ideas and taken different approaches to its unique life sim. New Leaf is easily the most revolutionary of the series to date, as it offers player far more control than any of its predecessors. It is without question the most customizable and engaging entry thus far, and even includes free monthly DLC. Many fans have hailed it as not only the best in the series, but one that will be difficult to top when Nintendo inevitably releases another.

I won’t exactly say that feedback on the game is wrong per se, as I’m an avid New Leaf player myself. It’s definitely my favorite Animal Crossing game, but I’m not going to go so far as to say it’s perfect. As much as I love it, I also can’t seem to stop thinking about several details that the game seems to have missed – things that would’ve been easy to include and wouldn’t have broken the way it functions. I think about these things all the time as I play, and today, I’ve decided to share them with you guys as well.