5 Games That Would Make Great Shark Movie Tie-Ins

Well everyone, it’s time to talk about Syfy original movies. Love ’em or hate ’em, one thing we can all agree on is that they’re prolific as hell and we all know at least one person that likes them. If you’re reading this article, that one person is me. Yes, I admit it, I’m a big fan of Syfy’s unrelenting deluge of absurd melodrama, provided I have a friend to watch with (those movies are boring as shit when you watch them alone). I will contest to the grave that Syfy’s shark movies are the best of the worst.

An actual scene from the movie Sharknado. Just… Just look at that glorious bastard.

However, if you guys have learned anything about me by now, it’s that all roads eventually lead back to video games. As I sat in my living room this summer, watching sharks twirl through the sky and attack beach communities and bite two children in half only to leave their legs running around like beheaded chickens (yes, that happened in one of them), I couldn’t help consider how these antics would fit into some of my favorite video games. Since I apparently have way too much time on my hands, I now proudly present to you five game-movie alliances that are at least absurd as the movies themselves.

Japan Happened Again

Now is as good a time as any to let you guys in on a common saying of mine. When I say that “Japan Happened,” I’m referring to that special brand of over-the-top fun and absurdity that it seems only the land of the rising sun is able to produce. If you’re unfamiliar with this sort of aesthetic, a quick glance at certain animes and Japanese game shows should be more than enough to fill you in.

This week, everyone’s buzzing about Japan World Cup 3.

I want to play this game so badly. CURSE YOU, BANDWIDTH LIMITS.

Is it a game? It is a movie? Is it a cultural phenomenon? Whatever it is, it’s definitely a prime example of Japan Happened. As I understand it, Japan World Cup 3 is a browser game in which the player doesn’t play as the ‘horses’ (we’re stretching the definition of ‘horse’ a bit here) so much as they bet on the races and root for their chosen competitor. All of the races are pre-rendered animations, and the player has no indication of which race will run when they make their bet, reducing it all to a game of chance. Does that make it any less fun? Not when these are the types of races you end up watching.

Incidentally, the race cut scenes have been released on DVD — which is just as well for shmoes like me that can’t access the game’s site due to bandwidth limits.

The interesting thing about Japan World Cup 3 is that (based on the video, anyway) the joy of the game does not come from its actual gameplay. Watching the race is what the player really wants, and in my opinion, that’s where the gameplay ought to be.

The first time I ever saw this video, I didn’t realize that the players didn’t control the racers, and it made me immediately want to play it. The revelation that they’re really just watching a movie with a bit of interface at the beginning was a big disappointment, and it made me reflect on how I’d construct the game had I been able. If this game were to be rearranged into an unconventional fighting game, it could potentially skyrocket into a very popular position in the console gaming realm. Imagine if this game were designed to work more in the vein of Super Smash Bros. Brawl, and the players were able to choose their contestant and duke it out mid-race in whatever ridiculous manner they desired. This would redirect the core gameplay to a balance between getting the jockeys ahead and attacking competitors at opportune moments. Not only would it give the game a wider variety of outcomes (since nothing would have to be predetermined), it’d also put the focus on the gameplay — where it rightfully should be in a video game.

If you can look at this and say you don’t want to play as one of these characters, you’re lying.

If I had the resources, I’d waste no time in contacting the game devs responsible for this glorious spectacle and see if I could work out a deal on bringing the game to the console fighting or racing market, but as I’m now a broke college grad that’s still scraping together loan payments, I can only hope that a major publisher with enough sense to realize what a gold mine this game could be might have the same idea. If this game ever hit the market, I for one would definitely buy it; hell, I might even buy a console specifically TO play it if it got released on one I didn’t have.

Oh well. I can always dream — that is, if I’m not already hallucinating that this game exists in the first place. After watching that video, I’m still not completely sure that’s reality and what’s fantasy.

 

Obligatory Legal Crap

Japan World Cup 3 is © someone out there in the universe, but I still don’t know who it is because their damn site won’t load.

The video is the property of the Achievement Hunters Community, who first brought the game into the public view. And I can’t thank them enough for adding this gem to my life.

Little Nemo the Game Master in Design Land

Since I posted that news blurb about Return to Slumberland, I got to reminiscing about the NES game released by Capcom in 1990. Little Nemo: The Dream Master was one of my favorite games as a kid, mostly for the novelty of transforming into different animals to use their powers, although I never did beat it back then. Now that the Nemo comics are getting a revival, I’ve decided to see how well it stands up against my knowledge of game design.

The results are… mixed.

My Little Pony: Litigation is Bullshit

With the EVO Championship Series making a bang over the weekend, it’s hard not to reflect over fighting games you love — or in my case, games you would’ve liked to love.

Earlier in the year, EVO left the coveted 8th game slot open in favor of a donation drive. Rather than pick the final game themselves, each game was given a page whereby supporters could ‘vote’ for their desired title via charity donations. The money raised went to fund breast cancer research, and the title to pull the most donations would take the final game slot. One of the games on the list quickly pulled ahead of all the others. That game was My Little Pony: Fighting is Magic.

I… I need this game in my life.

My Little Pony: Fighting is Magic is a fan-made creation of the dev team Mane6. It originally started as a joke image, but MLP fans are known for nothing if not their extraordinary devotion. The game has been in production for the last two years, with occasional screenshots, demo videos, and playable torrents floating around the internet in that time. It’s been noteworthy for its exceptional art and animation, move sets detailed to each character’s personality, and its ingenuity in building a fighting format for quadrupeds — something yet to be experimented with in the world of gaming.

That is, of course, until Mane6 received a cease & desist order from Hasbro just weeks before the initial release.

Original Game: Shape’Scape

Project Length: 20 Weeks (10/16/12 – 3/12/13)
Team: Rotten Ideas (5 Members)
My Roles: Concept art, Story, Level Design, Character Development, Set Pieces, NPCs, Easter Eggs
End Product: Game Demo

In the winter of 2012/13, I was part of a game design team called Rotten Ideas. Over the course of 20 weeks, we developed Shape’Scape, a multi-character puzzle-platformer. I was responsible for the story, character designs, facial expressions, NPCs, set piece assets, and about 30-40% of the level design. I also participated in the overall concepting of the game, but that was a shared process amongst the entire team.

Lego Portal 2 Board Game Manual

Read manual as a PDF.

In early 2013, I found myself in what should’ve been a great class with one of the worst teachers I’ve ever had. The class intended for students to create a project to expand and sharpen their skills, and my plan was to get some level design practice by building mock-up Portal 2 stages utilizing a deleted element. I’d obtained an early promotional DVD for the game that showcased new features for the sequel, including one that’d been cut from the final release: The Pneumatic Diversity Vent.

I felt this was an ideal project for me because working within the boundaries of an existing game would helped me focus on my goal more precisely. I wouldn’t be distracted by having to come up with the ins and outs of an original story, setting, location, or mechanic, before finally scrambling to make a level or two at the end of my 6-week time frame; instead, I could hit the ground running and experiment with test chambers making use of the Diversity Vent immediately. In addition, I’d learned during a previous class that these sort of exercises make really good portfolio pieces to show potential employers, because it demonstrates that you can be incorporated into an existing project. The ultimate deliverable would be a design document, which would not only detail my design process and how to put the levels into practice, but would show off my documentation skills.

However, my teacher was a bit of an egotist, and forced several of us to change our products to suit his own personal tastes. He insisted that a design document wasn’t good enough, and that if I didn’t build something that was actually playable, he wouldn’t pass me. Considering that he was the one holding all the cards, there wasn’t much I could do but cave – but I was still determined to still get a good document out of it!

Relapse Game Design Document

Read document as PDF.

In the fall of 2012, I worked on a team of six to develop a mock-up FPS for the Xbox 360 over the course of five weeks. My team, known as HotKeys, developed a game called Relapse, revolving around a zombie-like virus having broken out in a military facility. It is up to Sgt. Jax, a soldier and engineer, and Dr. Mirez, a doctor and medical researcher, to put a stop to the outbreak before the infected make it outside of the base.

Sonic the Hedgehog Full Series Analysis

I realize that style is a very subjective topic, but I do believe that after having spent 20 of my 27 years of life following Sonic the Hedgehog, I have some degree of intuition on what helps and hurts the series. (Then again, my rampant textwalls in my other sections probably illustrated that a long time ago.)