Light Temple Fanmail Follow-Up

It was only a couple of days ago when I posted my long-running preoccupation with the obscure details of Ocarina of Time, and even in that short time I’ve gotten some really interesting messages. Most people wrote to me to say they liked my ideas or just really enjoyed the deep dive into Legend of Zelda nerdery, but two replies in particular really caught my attention. They’re great messages in and of themselves, but furthermore they open the door to more thoughts of mine on this subject, which I never found a place for in the original article. Today we’ll be looking at those messages and discussing the topics they address.

A look back at my convoluted relationship with The Legend of Zelda

Welp, I don’t know about you guys, but I’ve just passed my second month in self-isolation. Like many gamers on lockdown, I’ve got a ton of time on my hands and an entire library of video games just begging to fill the empty void of my existence. A lot of these games have never even been played, and since I have a perfect opportunity to dive into these untouched treasures, I’ve naturally decided to completely ignore them and replay an old favorite from the beginning.

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess is not only one of my favorite LoZ games, but I also consider it one of the definitive games in the series – which is why I was shocked to find I haven’t touched it in over 12 years. This discovery also led to the revelation that I have completely failed to play either of the series’ mainline successors, Skyward Sword or Breath of the Wild, even though I own both of them. I just couldn’t believe it; how could I have spent THIS much time away from a franchise I love, let alone a game I consider one of the greatest of all time??

I’ve puzzled over this conundrum for days, and I think I finally have the answer. This is going to be a VERY long story, so get a drink and strap in.

5 Details That Would Take the Sonic Movie from Great to Perfect (contains spoilers)

The Sonic the Hedgehog movie has made its public debut, which means I can FINALLY discuss it in more detail!! The last week has been a real test of my self-control, because this movie is pretty much the only thing I’ve wanted to talk about. In many situations the only way I could sufficiently restrain myself was simply to abstain from the conversation entirely!

As I mentioned following my early viewing, I’m extremely satisfied with this movie. I fully expected it to be fun, but I never even expected it to be good, let alone great. There’s so much that the movie got right that, quite frankly, I’m stunned. I’ve been a Sonic fan for so long that I’ve become accustomed to disappointment (which was my reaction to the original gremlin design). To have an entry in this franchise actually do this well after all this time gives me the most unbelievable feeling. It stirs up nostalgia, but not in the sense that this film is reminiscent of the original games or cartoons; rather, I don’t have to defend myself for being a fan. I can say that I liked this movie and the response is typically, “Yeah, me too!”

That said, the movie isn’t perfect. I’m sure there are a few nitpicks one could make from a film critiquing perspective, but you’re not following this blog to hear from a professional movie reviewer, you’re here to listen to an awkward trash nerd babble about fandom junk! And in my opinion, there are five things in particular that would’ve taken the geekery of this movie from “old nerds shaping the next nerd generation” to “gaming convention collectively weeps as their nostalgia is validated.”

The Sonic Movie: Leedzie’s Sneak Peek

As part of the final round of promotions prior to the Sonic the Hedgehog movie’s release, the official Sonic movie mascot is touring the country for photo shoots. Coincidentally, one of these shoots was literally right across the street from my day job! A landmark in this area, known as “The Halo,” is essentially an enormous golden ring – the perfect place for the mascot to produce some movie hype! (Or at least it would’ve been, if it wasn’t February in Michigan and the ring wasn’t half-covered in snow.) I had every intention of turning up to observe the event and witness a little piece of Sonic history for myself, but naturally I had to work on the morning in question. Knowing that this shoot was going on RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET and not being able to watch was killing me, a fact about which my co-workers soon learned more than they ever cared to know.

Luckily, not all hope was lost: There would be more mascots stops this weekend, all of which were open to the public! One such appearance was at a theater in our area, so I decided to stop by and see if I could get a photo of my own. I happened to be off work that day, and a hug from Sonic is something I’ve wanted since I was a wee tiny Leedzie!

Little did I realize I was about to get MUCH more than I bargained for – including an advanced viewing!

Todd Howard should just post his nudes already

Y’know, despite my past intentions to get a job as a legitimate “gaming journalist” (a term that is almost meaningless nowadays), I rarely actually follow gaming news. Anyone who’s taken even a cursory glance at this blog can figure out my journalistic style: Make a small, silly observation and blow it up to ridiculous proportions. That seems to have worked out pretty well for me so far, so I’ve never felt the need to keep up with game stories that I wasn’t personally involved in.

And yet, there is one piece of games-related news I have indeed been keeping up with lately — and it’s somehow managed to get much bigger and far more astonishingly stupid than anything I could ever concoct on my own.

The Grinch’s heart was never too small

Welp, today is Christmas Day, and like a lot of you I decided to binge on some of my favorite holiday movies. There are certain titles I just can’t resist, such as A Christmas Story, The Santa Clause, Iron Man 3… (Yeah, forget the Die Hard controversy, Iron Man 3 is my holiday action flick of choice.) And of course, we can’t forget something as classic as How the Grinch Stole Christmas — a story that’s getting yet another movie, this time in CG. I can’t exactly say I’m looking forward to that one, so I’ve personally opted to ignore its existence for the moment and binge on the animated and live-action iterations instead.

The 2000 live-action version of How the Grinch Stole Christmas tends to split audiences on whether it’s a blessing or abomination, but good or bad, it gave us several additional insights into the beloved holiday story. We learn where the Grinch came from, why he has beef with Christmas and the Whos, and even why he lives on Mt. Crumpit. In the same vein, we’re also shown additional glimpses into Who culture and how their society works. Granted, most of these tidbits specifically reflect Christmas rituals, but there are elements that one can assume are a constant in the lives of the Whos.

Among these details, the most important revelation by far is the “Dumpit to Crumpit” chute.

The Lost Son Son

Whenever the topic of parenting comes up in Dragon Ball Z, there are a few talking points that can always be counted upon to surface: Piccolo is the best father, Vegeta probably spoils Bra, it’s weird that Krillin named his daughter after a shitty ex-girlfriend, aaand most commonly of all, Goku is a horrible parent, particularly to Gohan. He regularly abandons him, puts his life in danger, assumes his willingness without asking, and never, ever considers that his methods might be harmful. Goku doesn’t hurt him intentionally, but it doesn’t change the fact that he is doing damage, and the fandom rightfully calls him out on it.

The Son family in general is a dysfunctional mess, largely thanks to Goku’s haphazard and aloof attitude toward his wife and children. Although heartwarming and tender moments do happen, they’re disappointingly scarce. Even the most diehard GoChi fans readily admit that there are some very serious and deep-seeded problems; Goku and Chi Chi never seem to be on the same page, which not only sabotages their marriage, but also results in wildly different parenting styles. This creates an inconsistent home environment, which is always rough on children. But hey, at least there was that seven year gap following the Cell Games when Goku stayed dead! That means the Son household became more stable since there was only one parenting philosophy in action, right?

Well, maybe not. While I do agree that Goku’s absence probably meant fewer problems overall, it also quietly created another huge one – and this time, Goku’s not the culprit, and Gohan’s not the victim. I’ve always been surprised (and kind of disturbed) that no one ever seems to notice that Goten probably has a paper-thin relationship with his mother.

Dragon Ball Z: ResurrectionFFFF– (contains spoilers)

Dragon Ball Z is not, shall we say, succinct in its storytelling. The “sagas,” as they’re known, can take so long to make progress that in many cases it’s prevented new viewers from ever getting into the series at all. The series so well-known for its long, sluggishly drawn-out battles that Dragon Ball Z Kai and DBZ Abridged even exist to force the series to get to the point and move forward faster.

Luckily, no one has to slog through the 291 episodes of DBZ in order to get a good story out of this fighting anime. As of this writing, the series has an impressive 15 associated movies – 20, actually, if you also count the TV specials, OAVs, and that god-awful live-action trainwreck. (And that number’s just limited to the Z series; there are even more movies for the original Dragon Ball, and another TV special for Dragon Ball GT!) For the most part these movies came out long before DBZ was popular in the United States, meaning we got them years after the fact just like the rest of the series. However, by the time Battle of Gods kicked off a new era of DBZ movies, the franchise had spread to worldwide cult status, meaning that it would see theatrical releases in more than just Japan. The same happened with the latest film, Resurrection F – and I’m pleased to say that I’m one of the lucky few that’s gotten to see it during its limited showing!

I am not, however, pleased with how it ended.

The Prince and the Pauper: Vegeta’s Secret Struggle

Something I think people often misunderstand about Vegeta is that he lives more in a state of perpetual frustration than he does anger. I would venture that no one has a work ethic like he does, and yet for all of his unwavering effort, he never seems to get rewarded – not in the way he’s looking for, anyway. He achieves things unfathomable to the average person, but he just can’t ever seem to get there first. He literally spends ALL of his free time working his body so relentlessly that he frequently injures himself, and yet he’s always, always, always a few steps behind Goku. It’s no wonder Vegeta’s rarely in a good mood; he puts in far more effort than anyone else, and yet Goku – who not only devotes less time and attention to his craft, but is also a good 5-10 years younger than him – just breezes right by like it’s no big deal. Because for Goku, it really isn’t, and no amount of Vegeta exhausting himself will ever change that.

Which necessarily begs the question, why does he keep doing it? Why does Vegeta need to be the absolute best? What makes him so willing to sink the vast majority of his life into chasing a goal he’ll seemingly never attain?

The answer may surprise you.

RuPaul’s Drag Race: Snatching Our Attention

I love all types of games. Video games will always be close to my heart, but that doesn’t mean I have any less respect for board games, card games, sports, reality competitions, or game shows. And hey, on the note of those last two, Ru Paul’s Drag Race has finally kicked off season 7 this week! As the nation’s biggest competition for drag performers, the show has aired annually since 2009 and has become a staple of the Logo TV network. It’s been such a success that it even managed to find its way onto an episode of Jeopardy.

Although each episode contains its own brand of humor, creativity, and unpredictability as the queens duke it out in a test of showmanship, one particular task keeps fans talking every year, even before it airs. It is perhaps the hardest challenge in the game, and is definitely one of the greatest tests of skill and focus.